You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Randomize
