so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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