"it" just moved
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
