I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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