that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
