i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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