the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
