dude i'm inner monologue high
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
