Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Randomize
