Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
