Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
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