I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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