I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Dear god my vagina.
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