Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
