That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
this will be a night to untag.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
