you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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