no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
