Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
