wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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