just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
