youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
