i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
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