his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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