For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Randomize
