Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
