The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
