Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
