He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
