No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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