I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
he was CRYING into my vagina
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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