you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
ok first of all what the fuck
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
