My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
