census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
