Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
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