Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
