Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
