some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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