its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
