I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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