So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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