What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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