They should really pass out barf bags in church
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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