I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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