Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize