some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
