Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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