I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
