After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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