It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Randomize
