the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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