my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
