You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
