im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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