I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
