So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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