Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Just cropdusted the office
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
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