today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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