she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Randomize
