But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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