You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize