I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
