38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
