I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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