a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I just had sex on a roof
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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