We're like a lot better than the average bears
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
