if you like me you must not know who I am
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
