well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
