I wish i was in the wii world.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
